Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Is this thing on?

Wow. I haven't blogged on my personal blog in a long time--lots going on with our family, but I had completely forgotten about this one. I was going to just let it go, but then I saw that people are actually checking this thing. That's awesome, and crazy, all at the same time! This little ole blog with only 9 posts. So I figured I shouldn't let it die, but I will continue to post some thoughts on my journey in prayer from time to time.

The last year or so I am really learning how to talk to God. I know that sounds pretty simple, and maybe even a little foolish, but isn't that all prayer is, anyway? Talking to God?

My biggest teacher is my 5 year old son. From trying to teach him to pray, I am learning myself. I just love how that works! He's been pretty shy about praying out loud to God himself, and he keeps saying, "Mom, you do it..." :) While I understand his reticence, and what feels like weirdness to him about trying to think about what to say to a God he can't see...it's really gotten me thinking. I was discussing prayer with a friend of mine recently and she said she, too, struggles with talking to God out loud and just feeling weird, like she's talking to a wall and the wall can't answer back or respond. I had mentioned to her that maybe she should just get her cell phone out and pretend like she's calling God on the phone and talking that way. Definitely a weird idea, but it might work!

I've had a few "life experiments" this year and, while they didn't completely relate to prayer, I found that they had a unique impact on my prayer life. The crux of my schooling in prayer this year is this: Prayer comes easily when you are dwelling in Rest. "There is a place of quiet rest, near to the heart of God..." I love that old hymn.

The bottom line is: Are we lining ourselves up and making ourselves available to hear God? Prayer is not just a mindless, repetitive, talking at God, but a conversation with God. He talks back to us....but what I'm finding with those I talk with and with what I experienced this past year, is that we are not quieting our lives enough to hear Him back. So it just feels like we are talking at Him, but really He's talking back to us, rather immediately, and we just don't have our speakers turned up enough.

I've got more to say, and now that I've started writing again, I feel there's so much bottled up in me I want to get out. We'll have plenty of time for that later, though! Stay tuned...